Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Hey guys and girls....I know it might be late...but i just feel like writing something...I just realize something quite important...And this might change my life....And myself...I hate who am i right now....I just can't live with it anymore....

Praying to God for answers just let me heart feel a bit unworried...but the questions are still there....I need help sometimes...Sometimes i get myself out of it...But sometimes i just break down not knowing what else to do....I know i have friends...but how many are them are true friends...One question in my life is who can i really trust...I just don't know anymore...Sometimes i feel out of place just because of who i am...Sometimes i feel like i bonded with them but on other days, it just seem to fade away...

Having a relationship is another thing...I feel that being who i am...i won't be able to approach anyone or someone whom i have feelings with...its quite hard...you know...There are tons of times which i wished i wasn't the person i am right now...People say that people will eventually change....I have faith that i will too someday but when...I really need that change...i just can't seem to right now...Stress has been on and off...Now im not even sure whether im taking the right course...I feel lost...

I need a new start to my life...I been lost for far too long....longer than i can remember...I remember all the things that i did that i should not have done before in my life...One of them is smoking...I regret that i smoked last time...I should have just rejected it...But i was out of the crowd..I want to get in so i just tried...Then there was one time where i went to a night club...Yes...i went clubbing before and i drank...yup..i drank like 2 bottles....I don't think i was drunk or anything coz i can still think straight and walk straight...I haven't really mention this to anybody in this new city...People think that im the good boy and all...Maybe they don't...i don't know....I can't read people minds or anything..Those are just one time experience...now i changed that....Now i just need to change something more to be a better person...

Now, after writing all that....i have a feeling that i shouldn't be posting this...but what the heck...Its my life...not EVERYBODY read it....If my parents read this....im sure as dead meat as a BBQ steak...

I apologize that all my blogs doesn't have photos....Its all just about my life...I know i like photography and all..but...i feel words describe everything they needed to say about...

3:12 AM;;
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